You may remember me. I’m the cyclist who occasionally rides on Spriggs Road, an activity you find so objectionable that you have taken to all manner of honking horns, gesticulating gestures, shouts, and brazen near-misses to communicate your displeasure with me.
I’d like to chat a moment. Thanks.
Over 18 months, I’ve traveled on every major road in the county and a great many of the not-so-major roads. While cyclists are often subjected to rude behavior by car drivers, I can honestly say that the drivers of Spriggs Road are without peer in this regard. Yours is not the busiest street, nor the narrowest, longest, most poorly-paved, or in any other manner distinctive. But you take the prize for collectively being the biggest jerks in our fair county.
One can only imagine what trauma has brought you to this point. The road you drive on is a modest one, only five miles in length. It is bordered by Forest Park High School (home of the Bruins!) on the south and a church on the north. In between, there is another church, a synagogue, a grocery store, a middle school and yet another high school (Hylton High – home of the Bull Dogs!). All things considered, very blaze.
So why the hate and discontent? I would chalk it up to a few unfortunate coincidents, but the number of incidents is now too many on too regular a basis for too long. I’d blame the high school students (boys will be boys), but I’ve been carved up by work trucks and all other types of traffic, like the minivan that honked as it passed me today. No, something else is afoot in this suburban utopia – I just can’t imagine what it might be.
And why do you only object to my northward travel? I’ve pedaled southward on Spriggs easily four dozen times without incident – not even one. Northbound, mayhem ensues, like the car that didn’t see me when he flew onto the road from Minnieville, then honked his horn at my temerity for existing in his path. Or the sedan driver who slowed down and shouted out his window for me to get out of the road. Or the work truck. Or the minivan. Or several others I could mention. You get my point.
Here’s the thing: I’m allowed on the road. You’re not allowed to yell at me, threaten me, tell me to get off the road, deliberately drive within inches of me, honk your horn as you pass me, or any of the other aggressive acts you routinely do. Please consider my bike to be a lawful vehicle on the road, because that’s what it is. You wouldn’t act this way toward any motored vehicle that was moving slowly with its flashers on, nor even a horse and buggy. Please give me the same consideration. Thank you in advance.
In the meanwhile, I suggest you compare notes with the drivers of other streets in the area. For the most part, they seem to have figured this out. At the very least, consult with the southbound drivers on Spriggs. On that side of the road, they are a very tolerant lot.
Thank you for your attention. I have no doubt you are very busy – by your actions behind the wheel it appears you are usually on some critically important task which you are very late at doing. Take care, and safe travels.